Friday, May 13, 2011

Who has 4 thumbs and need a style session? These girls.

We've moved to - you'll be redirected to this post in a moment.

I need a style make over.  Like, bad. 

When did this happen?  When did I give up?  As my readers know, I have two amazing little boys.  Who would rather I play Legos with them then make myself presentable.  After my second kid, the texture of my hair changed and I was forced to try to figure out how to make my frizz work.  I still haven't.  On average I wear makeup, and by makeup I pretty much mean mascara, about twice a week.  Weird.  I NEVER thought I would not wear full make up every single day.  Especially in Orange County, CA, home of the first Brovolebrities.  But mama is tired.    

And while I wouldn't really consider leggings my uniform, per se, they are certainly easy to throw on after my morning shower.  Even after my first child, when I was still working part time, I would iron my clothes every single day, even on weekends.  Now I can't even be bothered to throw something in the dryer to try to get the wrinkles out.  

photo by Lauren
And this is the picture that really hit home.  Before I had kids, I knew how to dress my body shape.  I have worn a size 8-10 pants for as long as I can remember.  But no one ever believed me when I told them.  I knew how to dress to play up the good parts and play down the bad (hullo, that's what clothes are for, people, not for showcasing your bad ass muffin top).  When I saw this picture, I was thrown for a loop.  When did I start looking like Spongebob?  I know what's going on underneath and it could be WAY worse.  BUT, this outfit is super unfortunate.  While the dress goes in at the smallest part of my body, I layered on a jacket that made me look square.  But check out my sweet skinny ankles.  Girlfriend still has it going on a little.  What do I do with these new proportions of mine?  What are my best areas and how do bring them out?  All my "go to" silhouettes and shapes no longer work.

This August I am going to Blogher in San Diego.  I'm super excited to meet new people, learn a ton from industry leaders and be inspired.  But I want to put my best foot forward.  First impressions are everything and I need help!!!  But how crazy is it that I can dress a table but not myself?

I will spend hours designing or hand making party decorations.  But I spend 5 minutes to get ready in the morning.  I will iron tablecloth after tablecloth for a party or photo shoot, but walk around town looking like I slept in my clothes.  My party's dazzle.  I wear jeans and a plain colored t-shirt most days.  I have a garage full of party accessories - cake stands, vases, decor, but my personal accessories mostly amount to $3 bauble found at Forever 21.

I have created this graph to demonstrate the division of time spent on my appearance compared to other very important parts of my day.  *Note, due to my lack of both basic math and graphic design skills, this graph is in no way to scale, if graphs can even be "to scale".  I would venture to say my watching of reality tv is much larger... (Edited to add:  Yeah, um, I know this is a pie chart.  I called it a graph.  Its just weird that I wouldn't have called it a pie chart.  I love pie.  Its where my mind goes when I'm asked a question.  Like, Sharon, who do you think is the best possible gubernatorial candidate?  Hmmmm, pie.  Not trying to get all political on you, just like the word gubernatorial.  Almost as much as the word pie).

What am I looking forward to most about going to Blogher?  Meeting my online bff, Jenny in person.  

How cute is she?  

We have SO much in common.  We met through our party blogs and she also has two crazy "mini men."  Which is why I think she might be ripe for some style secrets too.  Or maybe I'm just projecting...But I can't think of a better way to bond than having overly glamorous beautiful people trying to disguise our every flaw.  Can you???

*This is my desperate attempt at winning a style session by these stylish bloggers:

Pretty please????



Nicole Feliciano said...

Thank you so much for your entry! The event is going to be great!

Anonymous said...

You're hysterical! This is how I feel every day!

Sassy Mom in the City said...

Thanks for entering!! Good luck and be sure to attend our twitter party on June 29th 9 pm EST when we announce the winners!


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